George recalled that he never knew his own grandmother, May Harper, Vi's biological mother. He said that almost nothing was known about her. One day she disappeared, and Paul and Violette were placed in an orphanage. This is the only known picture of May Harper on her wedding day to John Egbert in 1902.
My last visit with Grandma, 1992.
When I last saw Grandma Vi, I was travelling with my husband through Wyoming, and into South Dakota to see my other grandmother. So we stopped on our way through, and then a second time on our way back. She was so glad to see me! It was the same grandma in the same house, with the fresh clean sheets, a very neat house, a green backyard garden, and cooking dinner. Don had passed many years earlier, and she had been living alone for a number of years. But she had everything worked out. She had neighbors who took care of her grocery shopping and going to the doctor since she couldn't drive. She'd been legally blind for many years.
As it happened, it was her last week in the house she had lived in for more than 30 years. She was busy preparing to move into an assisted living apartment in nearby Pinedale. Her daughter June had made the arrangements and was very involved in providing what care she could, even though she did not live in the same state. She confided in me that she felt afraid and felt very sad about leaving her home behind. Apparently the neighborhood had slowly disappeared around her. From what she told me about her new life in Pinedale, she'd be able to make friends, and she would have a better level of care as she aged. She was 88 years old! She would have her own apartment and would have her favorite things around her. I told her I believed she was doing the right thing---that I could only imagine how hard it must be for her to leave what she had loved, but that she would have the support she needed. She would have friends and people right there for her. What surprised me was that she confided in me, that she trusted me, and that my opinion mattered to her. But I guess that's what family is really... people who always have your best interest at heart. The only people who you can know without doubt, will always do what's right and good.
When we came back through to see her the second time on our way out, she was in the middle of a birthday party with her old friends. They gave her one last party, even though it wasn't her birthday. She was so proud of me and showed me off to her friends. It was easy to tell that they loved her so much and that they were all going to miss her.
She was so brave. She faced her uncertain future, at the age of 88, with courage I certainly hope to have if I reach her age. I will always carry her brave, cheerful attitude with me for the rest of my days. And you know what? I am again reminded of my father who was so very brave in all his final days... so like his mother. From what I heard later, Violette lived very well in Pinedale. I heard that she was very happy there and well cared for. She lived to be 95. Wow. Thank you Grandma for everything, but mostly for showing me what it's like to be near the end of your life, and to life so bravely, so courageously. I love you Grandma.